Date: 1st February 2008 at 9:03am
Written by:

So there’s ‘Arry in the players lounge….

‘Alright lads, all the chauffeurs have cried off sick…so who’s gonna drive Benji up to Manchester?’

Silence…..until eventually a spotty trainee at the back pipes up…

‘I will boss!’

‘And what do you drive son?’

‘Robin Reliant boss’.

‘Perfect son, perfect…. got GPS?’

‘No boss’

‘Great! I mean…. hold on, take this one…. let me just reconfigure it for a few minutes……… there, that should do the trick son… remember to stick rigidly to what the GPS tells you, keep it under the speed limit, and try and limit it to the two six packs on the drive up there…. don’t want our friends in blue holding you up on the way….’

‘Anythin’ else boss?’

‘Yes son, make sure you stop off at every service station along the way, I know you haven’t got a mobile so I’ll need you to phone in regularly for further instructions.’

‘Oh and one more thing…. if you somehow get there before 11, you’ll be out on loan to the scummers on Monday!’


NB: This article is meant in good humour and in no way suggests that ‘Arry condones drink driving which is obviously wrong!

Written by Tantona.

The views within this article are the views of the individual who wrote and submitted this piece, sometimes solely theirs. They are not necessarily shared by the Vital Pompey Site Journalists.

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37 Replies to “Benjani Transfer Saga – What Really Happened?”

  • fantastic stuff Tantona, very funny read – i like it, i also like you ‘dsiclaimer’ about drink driving at the bottom, a stroke of genius…

  • Thanks for doing that Tantona! I was thinking of writing someting similar about fans blacking the runway with storage containers!! Great read.

  • Nice article – I can’t stop smiling about this – we get both! Woohoo!
    I think Benji will be fine coming back, I’m sure the fans will sing for him and make him feel wanted.

  • Great, Tantona, and the funniest bit is that you can imagine it actually happening. There has to be a Harry scam in this farce somewhere – it will become the stuff of legends, stories told to young supporters of portsmouth, embelished and improved as time passes untill the actuallity of it is lost in the mists of time . . . . as long as the real truth remains hidden of course!

  • i’ll be telling reece – my nephew – that we screwed the manc over and never intended selling benji 🙂

  • you can never be top heavy, they ‘should’ fire us into europe now… hopefully – we need this to wipe out the debt! by the way merlin i will get the answers to you for the pompey – chelski questions and answers shortly…

  • A bit like the Amdy Faye story where Redders set the dogs to keep him from leaving the house before he signed for Pompey. Ah, Redknapp and Portsmouth are made for each other.

  • Sorry to Cut n Past this but it’s important: The Premier League are to examine the paperwork over the proposed transfer of Portsmouth’s Benjani Mwaruwari to Manchester City.

    It had been thought the deal was off after City failed to complete the signing of the Zimbabwe striker on transfer deadline day.

    City stated that due to the player’s late arrival into Manchester on Thursday

    they did not have enough time to seal the deal.

    Pompey boss Harry Redknapp was confident of the deal going through following their capture of Spurs’ Jermain Defoe.

    Despite initially appearing as though Benjani would be staying at Fratton Park, it now seems the Premier League could yet allow the deal.

  • It’s times like this that you have to say to yourself: this is Portmouth, anything can happen in the next half hour.

  • When we have all stopped celebrating, the reality will sink in. Either conspiracy or total incompetence exists. The former is not good for football club owners or players and the second is not good for “HR”. We have now had eight strikers on our books in the last 12 months and “HR” cannot realise that it is a playmaker that is needed.

  • Doh….you’re right Et_tu, it is sounding likely that it’ll be allowed to go through after all 🙁 for a cheeky 8.7 million….

  • If they allow this to go through now, they might as well scrap the deadline altogether – everyone will be ignoring it. How about saying to the ref – I would have scored if I’d got to the ball on time,so you should allow the goal? Rules are rules, and deadlines are deadlines. But then who knows what the FA will do.

  • well i think benjani should stay if we didnt have a replacemtn( defoe) but looks like he will still be going depending on what the fa come up with
    god knows what that will be
    but further evaluation i have decided this is a great deal
    we have defoe who is younger a more prolific striker and someone who harry will be able to harness to great potential
    he has prven pedigree
    and at least we have consolation that he is proven not some player we have never heard about

  • i think 8.8-9 mill for benjani is a great bit of business given he is 30 and not a goal scorer constantly

  • I take it you want Benjani to stay. Surprised HR is letting him go after last weeks comments about him!!

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